She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
