you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
