I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
