using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I look better un-naked...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
