I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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