Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
