He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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