I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
