I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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