Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
There are leaves in my underwear?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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