His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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