I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
