Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
