Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
