Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
