Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I bet he comes in French.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
