so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
do herpes really smell.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
