listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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