Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Houston, we have a blender
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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