i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
