I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
