I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
