on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
