Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
