what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
