Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
