I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
