it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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