things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
