fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
