I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
