Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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