I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
