therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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