I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
