Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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