blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
