Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
