I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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