i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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