And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
