I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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