This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
