Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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