Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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