Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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