you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
