well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
