tell your sister to shave her snatch
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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