jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
