apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
