fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
