Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
