Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
