So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
