I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
