Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
