Where did you get a picture of my penis
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
