If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
