I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
